The Legend of the Colander of Emeril

What is now known as the Colander of Emeril in Calamarianism was once called the Colander of Unity. The Calamarian Church in Italy was trying to make a amends with China after an incident with the Kosher Ninjas, so the crafted the finest copper colander they could to send with Marco Polo. However, when he delivered the colander to the Pastaer of the Church in China, the Chinese were confused. They had their own methods of cooking food and this colander wasn't something that had any particular meaning but understanding the meaning behind it they coated the colander with their finest porcelain and sent it back with Marco Polo.

Unfortunately while sailing around India he was attacked by the infamous pirate Sahid Salamander and in the Great Seage of Serendipity the Colander of Unity was stolen. Oddly enough Sahid Salamander, believing in karma, stole this highly valued artifact hoping that his most valuable posession, according to tradition his wife, would be stolen. However, shortly after winning the battle he was attacked by pirates, who were attacked by pirates, who were also attacked by pirates, each time the colander was put in the hands of a new pirate.

So now the Colander of Unity was lost somewhere in the Indian Ocean. Marco Polo, downbeaten for his failure, refused to sail anymore. Though the Pastaer tried to grant him Sautehood for his efforts to raise his spirits, he declined, thinking the loss of the colander too great a misdead. So thus the Colander of Unity was lost forever, so it seemed.

In a chance of luck, in April of 2006, Guy Fieri was doing a show for Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, and happened to notice the colander in a dumpy restaurant in Pismo Beach. He snagged it and sent it to Emeril Lagasse, a 14th Level Pastamancer, who immediately recognised it as the lost Colander of Unity.

Today, colanders are exchanged as symbols of unity on all weddings, anniversaries, Marco Polo day, and Brotherhood day. On International Speak Like a Pirate day they are hidden and locked up so that they can be safe. Contrary to popular belief it is disrespectful to wear colanders on your head unless you need to prove your innocence because of its humiliating implications, and it has no mysticality.